I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize