Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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