Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police