Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
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I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
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We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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