she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
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I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
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I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?