Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  damn...impressive bar tab

  (216): View more from Ohio

  no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer

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  (216): when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account (1-216): damn...impressive bar tab (216): no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer http://tfl.nu/hyvf
  Replies (13) Good night (1144) Bad night (1851)
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  (650): View more from California

  Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.

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  (650): Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not. http://tfl.nu/h9ye
  Replies (7) Good night (2133) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly

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  (813): So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly http://tfl.nu/tnq1
  Replies (15) Good night (3991) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home

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  (918): I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home http://tfl.nu/0qps
  Replies (16) Good night (813) Bad night (4044) Order T-Shirt
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  (353): View more from

  I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing

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  (353): I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing http://tfl.nu/a43r
  Replies (41) Good night (5504) Bad night (1706) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.

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  (704): First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka. http://tfl.nu/gxhu
  Replies (16) Good night (4820) Bad night (841) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.

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  (650): We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you. http://tfl.nu/6i0s
  Replies (19) Good night (4881) Bad night (898) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...

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  (757): hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found... http://tfl.nu/titb
  Replies (16) Good night (9637) Bad night (900) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.

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  (214): You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters. http://tfl.nu/nfga
  Replies (14) Good night (5973) Bad night (847) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  He likes bondage and spanking and shit.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.

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  (774): He likes bondage and spanking and shit. (508): Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that. http://tfl.nu/4784
  Replies (9) Good night (3033) Bad night (510)
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  (631): View more from New York

  On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world

  (1-631): View more from New York

  It's like a tribute to you being a slut

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  (631): On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world (1-631): It's like a tribute to you being a slut http://tfl.nu/t5j2
  Replies (4) Good night (1694) Bad night (483)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.

  (913): View more from Kansas

  1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me

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  (913): How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways. (913): 1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me http://tfl.nu/tb9a
  Replies (12) Good night (3234) Bad night (553)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday

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  (503): Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday http://tfl.nu/7fl3
  Replies (2) Good night (1265) Bad night (361) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.

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  (614): Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes. http://tfl.nu/ghhe
  Replies (13) Good night (405) Bad night (2097) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo

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  (661): Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo http://tfl.nu/bjmc
  Replies (6) Good night (880) Bad night (299) Order T-Shirt

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