Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special