ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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