I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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