i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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