thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
