OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
