Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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