oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
