Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
