we made out on top of his cat.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
