Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
it was like his penis was on wheels.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize