Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
50% drunk capacity currently
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We're too hungover to prance.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
