i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
