we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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