Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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