so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
