just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
