Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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