A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
