When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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