Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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