Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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