Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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