Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize