That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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