Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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