Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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