I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
