It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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