my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
