I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
