Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
