I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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