I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
