he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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