i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Randomize
