it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
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She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
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Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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