One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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