i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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