How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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