I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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