went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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