i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
