even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
