I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
