WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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