Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
