Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
