So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
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She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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