I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize