I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
